Darcey Croft

27 Of The Funniest Love Quotes On The Internet

Valentines day quote

I think its safe to say that New Year is done.

We can legitimately and graciously cast off those unrealistic (and quite frankly) boring, strenuous and unappetising resolutions for yet another year. 

And, to distract you from any residual lingering guilt about not doing this or not, not doing that. Here is a list to get you in the mood for the next exciting event of the year:

Valentines day

Within days the deluge of love will begin.

The internet will soon shower you with red roses, chocolates, candlelit dinners and gushing tides of romantic memes. (And btw, did you know candles are the number one favourite gift for valentines day!?)

So, without further ado. 

Here to kick off the Barenaturals candlelit season of Aphrodite, are 27 of the funniest quotes about love that my friend Elba, David and I could find this evening.

Not going to lie our LOLs were on thin comedic ice after the best few but we persevered nonetheless. 


  1. funny valentines day quote
  2. Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty fucking annoying. 

  3.  No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying 

  4. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that. You’re in.

  5. Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life

  6. I want to be the reason you look down, smile at your phone. And then walk into a pole. 

  7. "My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield

  8. Love is like a fart, if you have to force it. Its probably shit.

  9. Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand

  10. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again

  11. Valentines day quote

  12. Dear boyfriend, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you, ~ sincerely, Spiders.

  13. I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Not a grizzly bear, they have claws and not a panda bear, they know KungFu - but a care bear. I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.

  14. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." ~ Will Ferrell

  15. Funny valentines day love quote

  16. "If you text I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back." ~ Chelsea Peretti

  17. My love is like a candle, if you forget me. I’ll burn your fucking house down.

  18. You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands. If they are wrapped around your throat, she’s probably angry. 

  19. Dating someone based on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like do they have a lot of money. 

  20. Funny love quote

  21. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." ~ Chris Rock

  22. We’re like marshmallows and hot chocolate. You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you. 

  23. People that blow kisses are hopelessly lazy.

  24. Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After three times it should default to unstable.

  25. My husband thinks Im crazy. However, he’s the one that married me.

  26. Humans have 206 bones in their body, spare their heart, break their bones instead. 

  27. I'd take a nerf bullet for you.

Love looks like this - Valentines day picture

Tags: funny, love, quotes

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